Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Wanting to Begin Again

Hi guys,


It's now 12:35.  My eyes are heavy, my back is sore, my mind is dull, and my heart is underwater.  To be more clear, I feel like a complete failure. 

I know that life goes on, this isn't the end of things, but how did I get to this point?  Poor grades, no sleep, over-worked, over-stressed.  I can't help but feel I'm doing it all wrong. 

It reminds me of a song from the musical Rent, "Halloween".  In the scene, the character, Mark, is thinking about his entire year and wondering how he got to such a bitter place.  What sequence of events brought him here?  What sequence of events brought me here.  Is there a reason?  I-- well, don't know. 

"Why did Mimi knock on Roger's door?  And Collins choose that phonebooth back where Angel set up his drums?  Why did Morene's equipment break down?  Why am I the witness?  And when I capture it on film, will it mean that it's the end and I'm alone...?"

3 comments:

  1. will it mean thats it's the end and i'm alone? I love this song!!!! it is kinda just how life goes. Which is sad but that is ok i like this post!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm not going to lie.
    the beginning of this gave me chills.
    I can relate to how you feel.
    Sometimes you feel hopeless.
    Bravo on your work.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Thanks uffy, though I have to confess this wasn't for creative writing purposes, It was more of just an outlet for what I was feeling.

    It's just been a hard couple of weeks, I'm looking for the light at the end of the tunnel-- I know it's there. Just got to find it.

    ReplyDelete